#i had a super long day at work today
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Encantober Day 3: Reunion
“You can let go now.” Bruno squirmed uncomfortably in Pepa’s grasp.
“Ay, but I missed you so much, hermanito.” Pepa squeezed him more tightly. “Can’t I have this moment of joy?”
“Can’t- breathe-“ Bruno gasped out, fighting against Pepa.
“Easy, Pepa.” Julieta placed her hand on Pepa’s shoulder. “His eyes are starting to pop out of his head.”
Reluctantly, Pepa loosened her grip.
Relieved, Bruno took a deep breath, just as Julieta pounced on him.
“What do all of you have against breathing?” He griped, sinking limply into the hug.
“Brunito, we haven’t seen you in ten years.” Alma said, her eyes misty with tears. “Surely you understand.”
“I do, but you won’t get to see me much longer if you don’t let me breathe!” He finally managed to wriggle out of the hug.
Pepa and Julieta looked at him, hurt.
Bruno sighed. “Alright, come here.” He held his arms open. “Ah, one arm hugs. One arm hugs!” He put up his hands preemptively.
This time, his sisters were gentler with him.
Bruno closed his eyes contentedly, enjoying the hug. “It’s good to see you, guys. I missed you.”
“We missed you too.” Suddenly, Pepa pulled away from the hug. “Don’t you ever disappear on us like that again!” She smacked him in the arm.
Wincing, Bruno shook out his arm. “Easy, Pepa. Keep me in one piece.” He covered his mouth with his hand and turned towards Julieta. “I forgot how strong she was.”
Hearing that, Pepa scooped him up in his arms and twirled him around. “Strong enough to pick you up, and don’t you forget it!” Realizing something, she frowned, setting him down on the ground. “Bruno, you’re so light. Have you been eating?”
He shrugged. “I got enough food. Sometimes it was hard to sneak some from the kitchen because someone would always be in there, but I’d get the rats to grab me a few arepas to tide me over.”
“Rats-“ Julieta looked horrified then sighed, smiling contentedly. “It’s over now. You can eat as much as you’d like, and no more rats in my kitchen!”
“What about other animals?” Antonio piped up, eyes shining eagerly.
“Toñito, I think Parce might be bigger than the kitchen,” Félix pointed out with a chuckle.
Everyone laughed.
“Food actually sounds pretty good,” Bruno admitted. “I haven’t eaten since,” he put up a few fingers, counting, “no matter, I’m hungry!”
Camilo’s stomach grumbled in agreement. “Let’s eat!”
“Great idea, Milo.” Julieta nodded approvingly. “I can go get started on dinner.”
“We’ll join you,” Pepa said, joining her side.
Bruno looked between the two warily. “Uh, Pepa’s allowed in the kitchen now?”
Félix shook his head “no” at Bruno but stilled his motion at a glare from Pepa.
Bruno nodded. “So, uh, dinner!” He said brightly. “Let’s go!” He stopped walking when he noticed Camilo examining him through narrowed eyes. “Something wrong, Camilo?”
Camilo gave him a disappointed once over. “You’re so…short,” Camilo pronounced.
Bruno blinked, confused. “Thank you?”
“Camilo!” Pepa whirled on her son. “That’s so rude.”
“You called him short all the time,” Agustín pointed out, becoming the latest victim of her glare.
“That’s different. That’s sibling privilege,” Pepa countered. “Camilo, you can’t say things like that to your tío.”
“Why not? He’s so short.” Camilo blew his bangs out of his eyes. “I thought he’d be like seven feet tall!”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, kid. I’m not some kind of boogeyman. Just your regular, everyday tío with a pack of rats at his service.” He bowed with a flourish.
Dolores slid in alongside him. “About the rats…tío, now that you’re finally here…” She trailed off. “Not that you were ever really gone, I could hear you in the walls, you know,” she mentioned proudly as an aside.
Bruno chuckled. “I’m guessing you were the one responsible for the conveniently ‘forgotten’ food left in the kitchen?”
Dolores’ face assumed a guilty expression. “Guilty?” She glanced out of the corner of her eye towards Julieta, who wasn’t paying attention.
Bruno waved off her concern. “Hey, no sweat. You might’ve just saved my life with that, so thank you. So what’s up?”
“Well, since I could hear you in there…” Dolores brushed a strand of hair behind her ear nervously. “I heard some of your performances.” Her voice sounded more confident now. “And I am just dying to know what happens with José and María!”
“Oh.” Bruno appeared taken aback.
“Do they end up together? Or does Carmen break them up? What happens next? I need to know!” Dolores squealed, gripping his arm tightly.
“You really are your mother’s daughter, aren’t you?” Bruno shook his head good-naturedly. “Okay, so I don’t have all of it planned out yet, but here’s what I was thinking…”
They walked together as he narrated to her, his words punctuated by excited gasps and squeals.
Eventually, the family meandered inside. The kitchen became a whirlwind of activity, underscored by overlapping conversations. Finally, dinner was ready, and everyone took their places at the table, with Bruno at the head.
Next to him, Alma stood up, raising her glass. “To our family. May we never be separated again.”
Glasses clinked together at the first of many reunited Madrigal family dinners.
#bruno madrigal#pepa madrigal#julieta madrigal#encantober#camilo madrigal#dolores madrigal#felix madrigal#agustin madrigal#antonio madrigal#alma madrigal#encantober 2023#encanto#reunion#foreveranevilregal writes#writing encanto#the important thing is i tried#i had a super long day at work today#please be nice
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i just need to ??? about a man
#today i had work coffee w [musician guy]#and we were v profesh/cordial to start#understandably it was awkward-- our first 1:1 convo#in like almost 3 years#and then we were talking about when i was so sick#and he said by the way sry about my dog he loved that died#and i kinda brushed it off like 'yea thank you'#and he got v teary and was like#'no i'm so sorry i'm really so sorry'#so here i am sipping my drink you know#and he's like 'i loved you so much. i was so scared. i'm sorry'#and i said 'it's okay [blond man]'#and i meant it???#and i recognize that this is the bare minimum#and that it took-- again-- almost 3 years#but he was actively hostile towards me for so long#that i feel like now at least we can exist in the same downtown#it was not a super personal convo! we don't need to ever have another super personal convo!#we don't even need to be friends!#but idk idk relief for me to be done with#i didn't even have to mention his wife having my face??#LONG DAY TBH!!!!!#tbd tbd tbd
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sits here. my mood has been swinging back and forth like a pendulum lately
#i still can't bring myself to make anything art-wise. and it is ripping me to shreds internally#i have no motovation whatsoever and i'm feeling disgusted by my creations. like that's the best you could do huh mixer?#i dunno. trying to keep calm. i'm going to my uncle's tomorrow to puppysit for 3 days#i'm happy that i'll see puppy but being out of my house will be stressful.#plus i've still got work to go to...#and i need to do the laundry and take out the trash and stop buying uber eats and forward my snap benefits email and.#and later today after high school lets out i'm going to talk with an old teacher i had#i need to change my bedding too..#i at least took a shower yesterday#i think my ptsd has been acting up in the background or something#my other uncle tries to tell me to let go of the past. but i don't want to. my past has forever impacted the way i'll be for the rest of-#-my life yk? and my 'past' wasn't even that long ago. it was 2/3 years ago. and my brother's still with that awful man#i can't pull him away from him.#i just wanna sleep. might take a sleep med early just to take a nap#i've been hating everything i make so like. why even try yk.#i drew one thing while i was hospitalized- a tiny sane jack head#i dunno. i dunno. i feel so empty. my depression's been super bad. i don't enjoy things that once made me happy#i feel so aimless. i'm thinking about going to college but i have to see what scholarships would be available because i can't work this job#WHILE in school. it'd wear me to the bone#i don't want to quit my job though. i like my job. i like my boss and my coworkers..#i dunno. idfk what's wrong with me anymore. i just want the pain to stop man.#i dunno what i want to do with myself but i feel like a. fuck it ik it's from firework but i feel like a plastic bag in the wind#i'm so tired. i miss my mom. i miss my sister. i miss my brother.#vent#delete later
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early voted today ✌️
#I don't want to be dealing with trying to take time off work to go when the lines will be super long day of#I had some extra time today before an appointment and the second place I tried did NOT have a line out the door#so I was in and out in like 10 minutes which was nice!
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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send help. it's supposed to be 91 degrees tomorrow. on my day off :(
#a sock speaks#work tag#food tag#it was high 80s today but I didn't even notice bc the air conditioner at restaurant job is punishingly high powered#I was wearing my long sleeved undershirt and leggings without any discomfort#but I have to run errands tomorrow and my car has no AC. the house also has no AC but is okayish at staying cool.#I wanted to make pizza today but didn't have time. might be too hot for pizza tomorrow :( but my ingredients are aging in the fridge#I finally got a paycheck but it's for the 2nd period I worked. I'm missing the first one and need to talk with the regional manager#and he's only in on Thursdays#also gotta request a day off to go to Portland with my cousin in 2 weeks#also gotta request off for orchestra which also starts in 2 weeks#also my aunt is trying to recruit me for a caregiving job and I'd have to take 3 weeks off to get trained#it'd be super easy to schedule both jobs once I'm trained but the training is a big time commitment#also restaurant job scheduled me for all graveyard shifts this week. if I can't adjust my sleep schedule I'll have to give a firm no on it#also gotta go to the bank to deposit my check and. uh. all of August's tips (terrifying)#also gotta call a vital records office in Maine about my mom's birth certificate bc we're trying to take her to Canada for her birthday#I don't think we have enough time but my sister wants to do it#also I want to finish knitting this sock that I started in June. I just have the toe left#also I finally confirmed the color and pattern for a baby blanket I'm preparing as a gift so I gotta get yarn#also I need to buy blackout curtains to fit my windows so I can sleep in the day if I work nights#also sometime this week my sister is cleaning the church. I want to go with her so I have an excuse to get ice cream from a shop nearby#also I need to clean my room and I should hang up the art prints & postcards I've been collecting for months#most of them are green to match my decor but some are just characters or scenes I like#oh! I also owe a postcard to a school friend#I had caffeine for the first time in several days and my brain is buzzing. there's so much I want to do and I have time to do it#and I'm excited about it!
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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thanks to some extremely wordy 19th-century authors i won't name, my baseline for book length has become so skewed. just finished my current library books and have a few days before i can go to the library to get my holds so i was like, hmm, what should i read in the meantime? how about...this 900-page novel i found on the side of the road?
#me: 900 pages isn't that long. 50 pages a day and i'll be done in less than three weeks#i just read the first 50 pages and it is super interesting so i think it will actually work out it's just. in like two days i'm gonna have#seven new library books. come on babe think it thru.....#reading#my posts#anyway my head hurts and i just feel kinda crappy today. had another intense relationship conversation with someone from my past#and afterward i was like i'm cranky :( i want to reread a raksura#but somehow that turned into this. maybe now i will reread a raksura? idk i kind of want to just go to sleep#but it's not even 8pm
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surprise panic attack???
#that hasn't happened in at least like five years#idly realized i'm double booked for pretty much my entire weekend#and i didn't get done half the shit i was supposed to get done today#and i'm having surgery on monday (which i'm thrilled about) but everything MUST be done before then T.T#had the passing thought that i forgot to warn my partner about a last minute schedule change with work for the weekend#and i think i just bunny trailed a lightning round of thinking about e v e r y t h i n g that needs to get done and i got super overwhelmed#hence panic attack#been so long i forgot what it feels like and it took me a heck of a while to realize what was happening#think im going to end up calling out of all but my two pre-req tests i'm running this weekend#they're only an hour each#uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh time is passing too slow (i want it to be surgery day T.T) and too fast (there's too much to do between then and now)
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🌌🗯️
#ughhhh i had a very very unpleasant nightmare and now i just feel awful :<#it was like all dreams super weird and made no sense. like i was in this GIANT obnormous building and was in the elevator#and suddenly i was in a large room where u like went to be accpted to get a job there???#someone told me to change my outfit so this room could get accepted bc it was too revealing#then a man - the big shot - came in and the leader of the room introduced us one by lne#but when it came to me he asked the two of us to introduce ourselves#but when it got to me he said 'now it's eden's turn' & i was like haha im eden but u already know that ;3#he just forcefully moved the convo along and asked me (and no one else) 3 questions#the last one was like 'if u werent here (at work) where would u be?' i hesitated for a moment and he said that if i hesitate too long#it doesnt look good. 'i'll give u one last chance. if u werent at work you would still be here in this place. with your family.#'we will be your family now. that's your answer. do you want to be part of this family?'#it all had an eerie tone to it but i just said 'yes i do. i really want to be part of the family'#and whoosh i was accepted and 'hired' to the very mysterious omnious building (the building was like miles long and big. like an entire city#anyway... this was just odd but then the thing that fucked me up for today#i dreamt of my two old 'friends' first there were just many moments where we talked and did things etc#but then came a part where // tw for SA // i was raped and then....#they both chose to leave me and abandon me after#like they in the middle of the night made sure to bring me home. they werent completely heartless haha....#and i in the nightmare felt safe. like i thought i could count on them#then the next day they were gone and they had also unfollowed and blocked me on all the apps#hmmm... yeah so both of those two things were just so horrible to dream about#and now i just feel like.. yeah. checks out. that's very similar to reality skskks :'))#i feel so lonely and like.. unworthy of care or love or support. ugh not a nice dream to start the day
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all I wanna do is have a hot bath, curl up with a blanket and watch tv for hours. preferably ghibli.
#I have two more hours left of work#technically I could leave right now. I didn't even have to come in today.#but it's been a quiet day cause of the weather so I've only been mostly cleaning#and the later I leave the less chance I have of running into my father at home#but I also talked to my sister (cause she now knows) and I'm going over to her and place for dinner and staying the night#and she has such a different viewpoint on my dad since she's been out of the home for so long#I'm just scared that she's gonna ridicule me for how I'm reacting. saying I'm being overdramatic.#I want to hold to my actions cause I don't want him in my life.#but I think now it's truly just. starting to sink in. that this is my reality now.#I had like two cups of coffee today (I never have coffee) so I was super hyper at like 10 this morning#but then I crashed#and even now I just feel. so odd. numb. disgusted.#like I think I'm actually starting to process this.
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People need to train their dogs and I’m not asking nicely anymore
#it’s kind of a sad situation actually and i don’t blame the owners so much in this situation#but there’s this lab in my neighbourhood. he’s always been kind of a bit much but in a friendly way#and when the woman who owns him used to walk him she had him super under control. he would walk close to her even if he was off leash#and he was kind of barky but i never knew him to be aggressive#well now the woman is in a home receiving care for alzheimers which is horrible; not least because she’s only about 50#so her husband is now the only person who walks this dog. also he is a cop so he works long hours and doesn’t exactly have a ton of time#to devote to giving this dog the level of exercise he needs. i really only see them walking at lunchtime and in the evening and it is short#walks; which is nowhere near enough for a young (i think he’s 4-5) labrador#hell; mabel (a 15.5 year old patterdale terrier) walks a little more often than he does and probably about as far#so it’s obviously unacceptable. like. we had a flatcoated retriever some years back and he probably got 3 hours of exercise a day#this lab probably gets half an hour if he’s lucky#so it’s a big problem. he’s pulling his owner’s arm off; he’s jumping up at people; he’s barking… he’s full on#and i still don’t think he’s aggressive but he’s certainly underexercised and badly socialised (was puppy/young dog during lockdown)#i always keep mabel away from him because she has a tendency to psych out dogs by staring into their souls & he is kind of unpredictable#my stepdad doesn’t know this though. and my stepdad was walking mabel today because i am still plagued by a hamstring injury#long story short the lab mouthed mabel. i don’t think he bit her but he certainly lunged and got his mouth on her neck#i managed to examine her after bribing her with an ice cube and her skin wasn’t red anywhere and there was no blood#but her shoulder was damp with saliva and she keeps wincing away and trying to snap at your hand if you touch her neck or shoulder#on that side; which to me indicates tenderness and probably a bruise forming (probably more from being butted with his huge snout#rather than the actual mouthing itself)#either that or me touching her reminds her of the incident and she now has a trauma and is upset#which is heartbreaking tbh because my girl loooooves dogs. that’s why she stares at them and pulls you towards them#she just doesn’t seem to understand that not all doggies or people are nice. i tried to explain to my stepdad like.. i don’t believe#this dog is dangerous but you need to give him space because he does not like mabel and he probably nipped her because she freaked him out#my stepdad doesn’t understand dogs. i’m not sure if he’s from planet earth honestly#anyway the moral of the story is TRAIN YOUR FUCKING DOGS#i feel sorry for the owner of the lab for a variety of reasons but the fact of the matter is that he would’ve been 100% responsible#if his idiot dog had injured mabel. and also i would’ve come to his house and beaten him with a baseball bat if that was the case#like i’m not afraid to get sent down for assaulting an officer. i think that is a great crime to commit#like. hire a dog walker. go to obedience training. do SOMETHING
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had beef with one of my coworkers today 😍
#— ai rambles#imagine what kind of an asshole you have to be to make me mad lmao#anyway at first i thought she was just a slow worker yk and that’s ok!! but turns out she’s just fudgeling all day long and work keeps#piling up and it’s either me or my other coworkers that have to do HER job#i was absolutely furious today when the office was full and i had to work on two contracts at the same time#and asked her (super friendly btw) if she’s able to take care of one simple car sale contract#and she was like ‘well leave the docs there i’ll get to them once i finish this thing for tomorrow’#what is this thing — nobody knows 😍#and it’s for tomorrow???? while you have clients right now RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU 😍#and i snapped at her bc i also have appointments tomorrow i have to prepare for but priorities!! and common sense#people are here right now!!! waiting for you to spare 20 mins of ur precious time so they can stall their car 😍#sell *#half of the time i have no idea what she’s doing and working on tbh and we’re not a big office like usually everyone knows what each one of#us is working on but her tasks are always a mystery a myth if you will#not very proud of myself for my choice of wording things but i was so sick of it atp and she snapped back at me but took the clients#lmao so i feel fulfilled
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Does that include Henry Miller irls or anything or is it just likers
this is sort of a toughie anon i havent thought abt this a whole lot before if i'm being completely honest,,
after giving it a bit of thought i'd say you'd probably would want 2 block me considering the way i talk abt henry in canon just to be safe (i'll say stuff like "oh he sucks so bad i hope he dies" quite often reblogging art of him which. i'm sure you wouldn't want 2 see ghfb <///3 i reblog stuffs on a diff blog of mine but u know.. :// /lh)
i totally get that irls (and fictives and the like) aren't going to be carbon copies of their sources but i do feel a sort of discomfort towards henry irls :[ i've blocked a handful in the past without knowing anything else about them just out of sheer dislike of henry in-game. it's more about my own response it isn't personal. and it's probably something i'll need to think abt sometime but idk i digress.
i'd reccomend not interacting with any of my blogs just like for your own comfort you know,, tbh though if you don't really mind i don't either👍 i just won't interact back or make friends i think but don't take it personally i'm just still working on being more tolerant and all and this might be something i'm more okay with in the future ?? it really honestly depends i suppose
so tl;dr to properly answer i'm not Entirely comfortable but as of rn yes, you can interact and follow n all that i'm just not likely to reciprocate /lh and thank you for asking first !! /gen
OH ALSO separately to my own discomfort, henry is a trigger for a close friend of mine so that's kind of like. the final nail in the coffin 4 me sorry i'm Not going 2 talk 2 you,, <//3 /nbr
#scrap asks !!#I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND LIKE A TOTAL INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE BTWAY D: i'm just letting you know not to waste your time on me if you're looking 2-#-b super comfy n welcome and such /lh thanks again 4 understanding n 4 sending in an ask either way anon and i hope u have a good one /gen#i was working on this one all day literally i had 2 think super hard on how 2 respond to this And i have 2 sleep soon rn i am Exhausted#today was long.. BUT no more venting right now and anon lmk if you think i should pin this just in case someone else'll need it /gen‚ nf
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i know i’ve said it probably about a million and one times with practically no real thought other than rambles but the cia wanting to desk him after his incident in russia, talking about the rest of his future as he’s laid up in a hospital bed, in and out of consciousness for the better part of a few days before he comes to fully, and vought essentially taking / buying him off their hands instead just so they can use him as a guineapig for the cv-a serum .... hits me.
#like by all means they were right to do so#he was in no condition and wouldn't be for a long time to do field work#they had no idea what his recovery would look like for a while#but to desk him meant that he would ultimately have to admit that shit happened. that what he went through happened#(which he doesn't really do until later in his life.)#and he didn't succeed in the other part of why he wanted to be overseas in the first place#desking him meant that everything he worked for is just ... dead in the water.#and some part of him was afraid that also meant his fight was over. the fight he'd been living with since he was a young adult#eighteen and in the military#ooooo h boy this is where my minds at today#one day i will do a super detailed meta about it#and his feelings when someone comes to him with the options#when he gets voughts offer#cause oh man.#when i tell you that vought twisted that vulnerability. when they saw the BOY about to lose a sense of himself .... hNN
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